I dont understand. I dont see why my life is the way it is today. I know I gotta let go of my problems and love my enemy, but Im still getting pissed on by them. Ive faced my past and I know Im stupid, but God, why is it that no matter how fast I run, or how much I stand up to my past, my past always gets to me. I thought Ive already paid debt for them, and look at me. Im unhappy. I find myself all alone in an empty room… Muted as I sweat my problems away… I know Im different but no one sees that. I love and love, give and give, but no one gives a shit. I dont do drugs or alchohol just like my parents asked me too but I dont get any respect. As a matter of fact, it actually feels lonelier. God, why does it seem like Im taking a step forward, but two steps back? I give so much respect and yet… I dont get any back. And now… I can barely make friends. I try and I try but the new ones only see my faults, the future ones I get ignored by, and the past ones are fading away. Ive accepted my friends mistakes and past, I know theyre not perfect but why cant they see that in me? Tell me why is it that Im the only one to tell myself that Im special and I mean something in a persons life? And why does it feel like a lie? Why is it that suicides always an option? I run from the thought, but once it catches up to me… Im facing it right in the face. My mind knows not to take its hand but my heart does. I make mistakes, but I ask for forgiveness. But it seems like its so hard to get those now a days. Im a good guy, I dont do anything bad, “I know Im the shit but Im still getting pissed on.” I just dont understand why Im so unhappy…
Ugh i hate ungrateful people
Hopefully later on theyll realize what theyre missing. But when im gone, i hope they dont regret it either. Ahah
Yessir….
“Ima say whats in my head rite now… to be direct: ima little stressed nd a bit upset rite now. Mom, dont talk about karma how im blessed rite now. If karma existed these bullies would be dead rite now. See ive been bullied all my life, picked on nd picked last… [everyday at school i cried all the time nd i skipped class. They all ignored me, bullied nd called me a fag. But im… Im a good guy, i promise you that!]”- prince ea [me]
